But I’m not.
Over the past few days, I’ve really noticed how motivated I am by, well, my current motivations. I’ve been thinking about the past. I’ve been thinking about the present. And I think I’ve discovered something about myself that perhaps I didn’t recognize before.
When I’m into something, I’m really into it.
So that can be good and bad. When I’m into being lazy – not working out, making poor food choices, eating out – I’m really good at it. But the opposite is true, too, and that’s where I am right now. I’m making great choices, becoming addicted to running, and eating out less and less.
So what do I need to do? By golly, stick. with. it. Because when I get off the wagon, I’m toast.
Like the week before last. Remember in my last Mamavation Monday I mentioned that it wasn’t a good week? Believe me when I say that it wasn’t a good week. And it wasn’t just here and there. No, there was little exercise, bad food, and indulgences that should be saved for every now and then. And honestly, I’m amazed I was able to gain control again so quickly. I know it was through the support of the Mamavation Sistas that I was able to get back into things. It’s true. A huge hug and thank you to each and every one of you – whether we communicated directly or not, the #mamavation chatter and your progress and honesty kept me going.
All that to say that the number on the scale is not my motivation right now, and it’s such a beautiful feeling. In fact, while I’m recording my weight and measurements nearly religiously, I don’t really care about any of them. I’m at a place where I know I’m doing the right thing, and that’s all I really need. I know the feeling won’t last forever, but this place where I am now is so beautiful. I know change will come.
This isn’t going to be a short a journey, and frankly, it shouldn’t be. As it stands now, I’ve got about 20 pounds to go to even reach the top of my healthy BMI range. And that’s just one small piece of it all.
So right now I’ll enjoy this. I’ll smile when my 2 year old daughter wants to snack on sugar snap peas just like ‘MaMum.’ I’ll push myself even harder on my runs and make them a beautiful habit. And I’ll continue to make progress toward bringing only healthy foods into our house. All of those things can be forever things, and bring us one step closer to a beautifully healthy family. That, and not a simple measurement, is what it’s all about.