Entries categorized as ‘gripes’
… me.
Really. I’m unhappy with several aspects of my life, and I need the inspiration, motivation and courage to do what I want to do with them. I’ve got a fantastic and uber-supportive husband, a wonderful (and also very supportive) family, and various skills to put to use. Yet I won’t jump; I won’t change. Why?
I don’t know. I can think of at least five things I need to change. Two have the potential to be huge and life altering, the second is straightening something out that’s gone awry (At least in my opinion.), and the last two just take time that I don’t have right now and probably won’t have for a good, long while. Sigh …
Why am I so unsure of myself? I know one thing – it’s in my personality to over-prepare for things in a HUGE way. Before I make even a simple decision, I consult several resources. Research may be an understatement – seriously. I beat issues to death until I’m sure I’ve made the right decision. Then I second guess myself. Why? Again, I don’t know.
When I actually DO start something, I put 110% into it. I attempt to perfect it, and often put more emphasis on the process than the thing itself. And when the thing itself struggles because I’m focusing in the wrong place, I get frustrated. It’s a viscous cycle.
Without constant reassurance, I don’t thrive. And without a reason to jump, I’ll stand on the edge until the very. last. second. It’s so aggravating. And though I know I do it, I don’t change. It’s so silly.
I also tend to leave things unfinished. I love starting new things, but if they have an end, I usually don’t see it. I either get bored or decide to move on to something new. Again, in many cases it has to do with the “focusing in the wrong place” thing. If it’s not working JUST as I had planned, it’s not worthy and I won’t see it through. Ridiculous.
Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to make a change. For now, I’ll return to my normal, stagnant life. I’ll continue to mull through each day, always keeping these things in the back of my mind. I will continue to research them; continue to be unsure of myself; continue to do nothing. For now, I’ll just “float on.”
Categories: gripes · life · nablopomo
I know, so much for the “blogging every day” thing. Lily and I were out and about all day Saturday, returning at 10:30 pm totally exhausted. After getting off track with blogging on Saturday, I made the decision to just skip Sunday. I didn’t even turn on the computer on Sunday – believe me, a day without technology is SO nice sometimes!
I’ve been having some really rough days lately, and without getting into the boring and overdrawn details, I’m working really hard at getting myself back to happy. It’s the balance that’s difficult – how hard can I push myself physically to accomplish what needs to be done while still being mentally coherent and pleasant? Let me tell you, this working mom thing is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done and if you think you have an idea, you so don’t (Unless you are, of course, also a working mom.). Anyway, so far I still haven’t figured out the perfect balance. When I do, we’ll celebrate together, okay? Unfortunately, as of right now, I am not okay. Somehow I know I will get there, it’s just a matter of when.
So as of today, back on track with blogging, I am! This is one mental break I need – and I’m glad you’re along for the ride!
Categories: blogging · family · gripes · life · lily · parenting
I can’t figure out where my child went. For 8 weeks, I had this lovely little girl who would get up once throughout the night (Maybe occasionally twice.), eat, and go right back to sleep. I even made it through my first week of work with this same little angelic person. For the past two days, however, she’s gone missing and has been replaced with someone who gets up at least twice throughout the night and refuses to sleep. What gives?
Last night was just as good as our first “bad night.” I fell asleep around 10 pm and Lily woke up at 12:30 am – no big deal. Fed her, then made bottles. By the time I got back to bed, it was around 2 am. She got up again at 3:15 am (Argh!) and didn’t go back to sleep after that! To top things off, we had another episode of projectile spit up – the 2 oz she ate at 3:15 am ALL came back up … on ME! At least she gave me something to do until it was time for me to start getting ready for work at 5 am – a load of laundry!
So Monday night allowed me 4 hours of sleep in the form of two 2-hour “naps,” and last night was a whopping 3 hours and 45 minutes split up into two overnight “naps.” Rock on!
If this continues, I’m trading her in for a make/model that sleeps through the night; this stuff is for the birds!!!
Categories: blogging · family · gripes · life · lily · nablopomo · parenting
Tagged: feeding, infant, nablopomo, NaBloPoMo09, sleep
In advance, I’m sorry. I know this has nothing to do with anything, but I’ve got to share! Perhaps it’s pregnancy that’s made me more sensitive to these issues – I don’t know. In the grand scheme of things, they don’t matter, but for the past few months, these issues have been driving me c-r-a-z-y!
I work in an office setting with 30 or so co-workers, 11 of them women (This will become relevant.). While as a whole I can say we’re a fairly neat bunch, there are a few exceptions to the rule. I’ve successfully targeted one of our messy members, and can’t pinpoint whether or not this person is the only messy one of the bunch. Regardless, some of these things are completely ridiculous.
- When you use a community utensil, say, a shared knife, do you wash it and put it away or leave it in the sink for the next person to clean, use, and then clean for themselves?
- If you peel your hard boiled eggs in the kitchen sink, do you leave the shells in the sink, or do you remove them?
- If you dump your coffee out in the kitchen sink, do you leave the splashes and residue there, or do you rinse it away? (This also applies to dumping your coffee out in the women’s restroom sink.)
- When you use the last of the roll of toilet paper, do you leave it for the next person to replace, or do you take the initiative to replace it?
I could go on with more office specific examples (think copier, shredder, jamming, replacing paper, etc.), but I’ll spare you the pain and boring details. I don’t understand how people can be so disgusting. Seriously, do these people do this stuff at home? I know for a fact that the person I’ve pinpointed doesn’t have a maid or cleaning service. Perhaps said person’s spouse cleans up after them – oh, the life!
If this person/these people live at home like they do here, I fear for them. So sad …
Categories: blogging · curiosity · gripes · life · rant · work
Tagged: co-workers, courtesy, gripe, mess, office, office politics
We watched the snow fall, heard the ice beat on the window panes and laughed as Cody walked across the ice-covered snow like an old man. Despite the weather, I decided to venture to work today – even though I so badly wanted to make today a quilting snow day. Luckily, Justin and I work about 20 minutes away from each other, so he brought me in on his way. It was his call to go in or work from home, and after he finished up drawings he needed to get out to a client, we started on our way.
For Christmas this year, Aunt Joan got us these awesome traction “things” for our shoes. They’re made of flexible, stretchable plastic-type “stuff,” and the bottom sections are wrapped in metal to provide traction on the ice. Both Justin and I wore them today, and we love them! Today was the perfect day for them – ice-coated snow that was not too deep. Both Justin and I have boots (Justin has a ton!), but sometimes this is just easier. Wearing boots feels bulky to me, and with this new pregnancy balance (Or lack of!), today was just not the day for boots. Also, I go crazy wearing boots all day, so I usually have to bring sneakers or other shoes to work. Not today! These are GREAT! I’ll have to update with the real name of them when I get home. Thanks, Aunt Joan! They are SO handy!
So what would I have done if I had stayed home today? Quilting! Last night, I finished cutting the remaining 4 fabrics. This morning while I waited for Justin to finish up his drawings, I cut all 4 yards of fleece and started making my square “sandwiches.” Now that the cutting is done, the rest is easy! 
Next steps are to finish up the “sandwiches,” decide which color thread I will use (white, brown or both), get the sewing machine threaded with the proper color, and start sewing squares! I’m so psyched to get started – it’s ridiculous. I figured out the pattern last night, as well. As there are several similar colors, patterns and themes, it took half an hour or so to come up with something I liked. Luckily, it worked out!
Speaking of fabric, I think I may have found curtain material for girlfriend’s room – I’m in love with this fabric and am waiting for a coupon so I can go and buy the rest of what Jo-Ann has. Seriously, I’d make anything out of this! I’ve tried finding it online, but it’s not on Jo-Ann’s website and I don’t know the brand. Argh. So … after the quilt comes curtains! Can’t say I’ve ever made them before, either, but I’m crafty and up for the challenge of something new!
Do you enjoy this weather, or would you rather migrate for the winter to somewhere warmer? We really don’t get anything that bad here, so I guess I’m okay with it. If I had a choice, though, I’d be outta here! If it’s snowy or icy where you are, stay safe! And if not … I’m jealous! Can I come visit?
Categories: blogging · crafts · gripes · life · weather
Tagged: curtains, ice, pregnancy, quilt, quilting, rag quilt, sewing, snow, storm, traction, weather
I noticed it yesterday, but after this morning’s experiences, my decision is solidified. The official holiday driving season has begun. We’ve officially entered fair game for cutting people off, failure to signal, and going 45 in the left lane of a 65 mph highway. It’s now okay to cut across three lanes of traffic to get to your exit. Simple errands will now take twice as long, as parking lots are filled with frenzied shoppers fighting over the closest parking spaces. What’s supposed to be a joyful time causes aggravation and frustration.
I truly do love the holidays, but this year, I’m just not cut out for all of the chaos. Needless to say, I’ll be doing as much of my shopping as possible online, and will consolidate my essential trips into as few outings as possible. Maybe this means I’ll actually stay home and do things I’ve been needing and wanting to do … or maybe not!
Categories: blogging · gripes · holidays
I’m kind of angry with Dannon.
They recently redeveloped their Light & Fit line of yogurt, stating that it’s got a “great new taste.” Apparently they improved the flavor and gave the product a better, more rich texture. I have to disagree. Not only is the taste less appealing, but the 6 oz. container now has 80 calories as opposed to its former 60. The Cherry Vanilla flavor I just had also has 3 extra grams of sugar over its predecessor.
I guess it wouldn’t bother me so much if I liked other brands. But I don’t. Prior to this version of Dannon’s Light & Fit, I wouldn’t eat yogurt. And who knows – maybe I’ll adjust. But for now, I just have to say, “Light & Fit, I liked you better just the way you were.”
Categories: food · gripes · rant
Tagged: Dannon, new, yogurt
Vacation for my husband and dog began this morning at 8:51 am when the car left the driveway. The only problem is that I’m still here! Thanks to school and work, I’m stuck here while they head to North Carolina for a few days away from the chaos. As for me, I’m off to Wal-Mart – woohoo! It’s a fun-filled day of errands, grocery shopping, housework, and some quality time with my thesis at the local library. I can hardly wait! Have fun, boys!
Categories: blogging · family · gripes · life · rant · travel · work
Tagged: cody, departure, dog, nc, north carolina, vacation
After today’s typhoon, courtesy of tropical storm Hanna, I’m back on my rain boots kick. I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect rain boots for a long, long time, but have yet to find them. I guess I’m going to have to settle. So here are the candidates in the category of “runner up” …
I spent this morning in the lovely District of Columbia. I’m not crazy about DC to begin with (Clarification – it’s okay to visit, but not so fun for school, work, and other normal activities.), and today’s combination was particularly dynamic. When you blend DC, the rain and wind from tropical storm Hanna, a 9 to 3 seminar day at my favorite “do it our way or hit the highway” educational institution, and a relinquished trip to NC because of the “do it our way or hit the highway” educational institution, you get a mean and bitter me. Lunch between sessions brought an encounter with the monsoon. A friend and I took a three block walk to the closest restaurant, and in that time, I managed to flood my sneakers and get my jeans wet up to my hips – all with an umbrella and rain jacket! She, being the intelligent and forward-thinking type, had worn an adorable pair of rain boots. My friends, I was envious! She’s super sweet, so I didn’t tackle her for them. Betcha she didn’t know it was her lucky day! Needless to say, the second session, following an equally entertaining return walk with a flipped umbrella, was cold and miserable as the drying out process began. Disgusted by having to be there to begin with, the water-logging only made things worse.
It’s really fine. I only have two 6-hour Saturday sessions left – 2 seminars each day. I’ve already missed my vacation because of this, and already faced the one professor I wanted to go absolutely postal on, so it only gets easier from here. The next 2 sessions/4 seminars are equally as nap-worthy, so I’ll take a seat in the back, wear a hat, and strategically snooze my way through them. Okay, I’m lying; of course I won’t sleep. But I’ll want to. Instead, I’ll hold my breath until I hear back from the Dean. Nope, won’t be doing that either, because I’m betting I won’t hear from him. How professional. Argh.
I’m getting mouthy and my blood pressure is increasing, so it’s time for me to go.
The whole point was to solicit help in choosing a pair of me-worthy rain boots, so help me, people! Leave your choice in the comments and I’ll be forever grateful! Mwah!
Note: The good of the day came when I stopped at Roots on my way home and found bottled cucumber water! The excitement wasn’t the water itself, but the reminder of a forgotten favorite. The bottled water was good, but no where near as good as homemade cucumber water! If you haven’t tried this and like cucumbers, you’re totally missing out!!! You simply need to add several slices of cucumber (English are best because they are seedless.) to your glass/bottle/pitcher of water and you’re ready to roll! It’s SO good!
Categories: blogging · friends · gripes · life · rant · shopping · weather
Tagged: angry, choices, city, city parking, cucumber water, DC, District of Columbia, drenched, driving, fashion, flooded, girl, Hanna, hint, hint essence water, master's degree, rain boots, rant, roots, school, sneakers, tropical storm, umbrella, weather
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