Gifts 51-100 are done and can be found here! Some of my favorites:
61. The word ‘fabulous.’
65. Dreams. The awake kind when you think about who you want to be when you grow up … even though you’re 31 years old.
70. A great feeling workout, whether it be at the gym, some Just Dance Kids dancing with my daughter, or both!!!
88. JUS
Posted in 1000 gifts, family, life, religion
Tagged 1000 gifts, faith, inspiration, life
Update: So I’ve decided to use a separate site to house my 1,000 gifts posts. I’ll leave 1-50 here, and in the future, I’ll just post a link (and maybe a sneak peek) when each set of 50 is up. My 1,000 gifts …
This year, I’ll count 1,000 (and hopefully many more) gifts, or blessings, in my life. Some may be silly, some more serious, and probably most right in-between. I’ll fill you in on it a little more later, but for now, here are the first 50.
1. The health of my family.
2. The playdate that shouldn’t have been. We were supposed to be visiting a wedding venue with my sister, her fiancee, and the rest of my family yesterday. When the stomach bug hit Lil through the night on Saturday, we were forced to stay home. We ended up having a fabulous day in – playing choo-choo, watching Shrek, making macaroni & cheese, and just being.
3. The fun in “just for practice for the party that’s 4 months away” cake making. I have a few improvements I’ll make on our next “practice” cake, but it was a start that left me feeling fairly confident.
4. Good relationships with my sisters.
5. Pandora radio.
6. A 60+ degree Saturday in January. We had an amazing time at the park, which leads me to number 7.
7. A growing little girl. She can now ride her bike!
8. Time-outs.
9. My ability to listen. Just listen.
10. A little 2-year-old girl curled up in my lap, watching Dada paint the new back door.
11. Inspirational bloggers.
12. Motivation and dedication.
13. Driving a bit further just to say, “hello.”
14. Coffee.
15. A warm home.
16. The reflection that accompanies packing up the Nativity this year.
17. Little kisses.
18. The promise of our first “Bucket List” trip.
19. The 2011 Family Gift, which is much more of a blessing than anything money can buy.
20. The light in Lily’s eyes as I show her the Steelers hoodie she’ll wear the day after their loss to the Broncos. We’re no fair weather fans, thank you very much.
21. Great crock pot recipes.
22. Memories in print.
23. Starting an inspirational book.
24. Colleagues who are incredibly real.
25. Pinterest for inspiration.
26. A large, currently blank wall.
27. That tiny cross that still needs a home in our home.
28. Beginning to craft invites 4 months in advance.
29. My kitchen assistant, who happily pours, mixes, and measures.
30. Finding something you’d forgotten you had.
31. Color.
32. Being able to come to work on Monday (also known as avoiding the stomach bug).
33. FaceTime.
34. My uber-handy husband. There’s nothing he can’t do, and I’m more grateful than he will ever know.
35. A beautiful sunrise.
36. The eyes of a little girl who noticed the beautiful sunrise a few mornings ago.
37. The times I actually listen to my inner voice.
38. Supportive and loving parents.
39. A gym at work.
40. A song that reminds me of who I am and where I came from.
41. A comment or like on a blog post.
42. A song and coaster this morning that take me back to that place that brought me here.
43. A note from a friend.
44. Checklists.
45. The ability to plan months in advance for things I truly enjoy.
46. A tin roof at the office. That sound puts me in a happy place every single time.
47. Comfy slippers.
48. My standing desk. I love this thing!
49. Thriving plants that survived a tumble across the car.
50. Handwritten things. Just a little handwritten note can mean so much.
Posted in 1000 gifts, family, life, religion
Tagged 1000 gifts, faith, inspiration, life
2011 was an interesting year …
We learned a lot about our limits, our comfort zone, and just how much we can handle. I learned a lot about myself in the process. I also learned a lot about my husband, which makes me love him even more.
We watched Lil grow – from a few words at the start of the year to full conversations at the end of the year. Her personality has grown, too. We also said goodbye to diapers and “ma pa” (pacifier) and got her ears pierced! She loved Shrek, Buzz Lightyear, and most recently, Hello Kitty. She also had a health scare of her own that ended up being absolutely nothing – thankfully!!!
We cried when friends lost their lives.
We prayed when we heard bad news about the health of family members and struggled to help the ones we love.
We celebrated – new babies, weddings, birthdays, a new job, an engagement.
We worried about our future, then celebrated when things didn’t only work out, but seemed to fit just right. The lesson learned? Follow your heart. Things will work out, and money can’t buy happiness.
We watched as wonder and amazement filled our daughter’s eyes. I won’t forget the excitement I saw in Lil as Plex, Muno, Toodie, Foofa and Brobie danced onto stage. I thought that little 2-year-old was going to burst with excitement.
We cut up part of the hardwood floor we put in 7 years ago and put up a new fence.
We started projects we didn’t finish (which is the story of my life …).
We grew as a family, and I think that’s the most exciting one of all.
I know 2012 won’t be any different. There will be good times and bad. We’ll celebrate happy times and pray when things aren’t going so well. We’ll hurt. Tough decisions will be made and patience will be tested.
But we’ll be okay.
I don’t really do resolutions. In my opinion, January 1 isn’t any different than any other day of the year (Though it does mark the birthday of a family member!). But I do reflect and try to focus on what’s happened and what’s to come. I try to let go of the past and move forward, though it’s not always easy.
May your 2012 be filled with blessings – peace, love, and lots of laughter. Life’s short, so enjoy every second of it!
Happy New Year!
We’ve been doing a lot of dancing today. It started with the music playing in the bathroom this morning as I showered.
Mid-afternoon, we danced to Toy Story 3 – we love the part in the end credits where Jesse & Bullseye play the Spanish version of “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” and get Buzz to stop repairs on the cardboard rocket to dance with Jesse. “Get up, MaMum! Dance!”
Our third dance today was to a song playing on Lil’s Tag Junior. To be honest, I have no idea what the song was, but we danced! “MaMum, come here! Dance!”
We’re not afraid to dance. In fact, it is usually my husband that gets the chance. Lil is a daddy’s girl for sure, and she asks him to dance much more frequently than she asks me. It broke my heart early on, but I’ve since realized just how important it is for them to bond. Instead of being jealous that it’s him dancing with her and not me, I’m proud that he just goes with it. So while they make their memories, I’m there to take it all in. Yep, I may have the best seat in the house!
I’m sure every parent has stories – times when they were utterly embarrassed by their children. I’m not talking about the misbehaving in a restaurant, baby screaming, or spit-up on your shoulder type of embarrassment.
Nope, what I’m thinking of is much more fun embarrassing.
I’m sure Lily has done some of these things already, but I’ve got the worst memory around and can’t think of any at the moment. Or perhaps I’m blocking the memories … who knows. If I think of any, I’ll add them here as an update!
Anyway, I witnessed one couple’s embarrassment tonight, and I had to chuckle to myself. Standing in the dairy section at Wegman’s, I heard chatter behind me coming from a toddler. Though I didn’t see him, my guess is that he was no older than 4, but probably a bit younger. He was talking to his dad about baseball – it was a simple, innocent conversation that quickly went south. As his mom approached, he asked her in a not-so-inside-voice, “Mom, did you go fart?”
(Oh. My. Gosh.)
His question was followed by silence.
Obviously lacking the satisfaction he needed, the boy asked again, “Mom, did you fart?” Again, no answer. Upon asking a third time, his dad boldly replied, “Yes son, mom farted.”
I had to walk away; I was afraid of what would come next! I thought about turning around and telling them I was the mom of a 2-year-old, but I seriously don’t think I could have faced them without laughter. I can only imagine how that mom must have felt as the boy bellowed his question through the dairy department.
Parenting is beautiful.
While Lily has yet to ask me that question in particular, we have had some fun in public restrooms lately. Toddlers have no filter, so anything goes. I always laugh when she talks about what she’s done on the potty while there are other people in the restroom; so many times we’ve gotten a good chuckle! She also likes to make sounds; many times it echos, so she’ll shout, “Da do! Da do!” or “Ow! Ow! Ow!” Love it. Seriously, I have a hard time keeping my composure. It’s just so funny!
Oh yes! I remember one of my embarrassing moments! Just for you, here goes …
About a month ago, we were in Target with my two sisters. Goose, Lily and I had gone into the bathroom, while A was at the Cafe getting a drink. Lil and I went into the larger stall, and Goose was two stalls to our right. Lily had gone potty and I got my chance next. It had been several hours since any of us had seen a toilet, so we had to go! Lil is usually pretty cooperative, so I’d never had any reason to worry. Frankly, I didn’t expect this evening to be any different.
As soon as I sat down, she darted toward the stall door and opened it … to a bathroom of strangers! I have never laughed so hard! All I could do was yell through my laughter, “Oh my gosh, Lily! Close the door! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” There were two people in the bathroom with us, and as I sat there on the toilet, stall door open, one of the women headed for the sink. I could see her in the mirror, and I think we were both totally embarrassed. Thankfully, she never looked up. I’m sure she knew what was going on.
After the excitement and a little hand-washing, too, we headed to the Target Cafe to meet A. As Goose and I filled up sodas at the fountain, a woman approached. “Are you the one with the little one in the bathroom? Because that was so funny!”
Yep, I know how that mom from Wegman’s feels … for sure. And honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!! My piece of advice for you? Take your toddler into the smaller stalls – they’re still close enough to grab them when they make a move for the stall door!
It was a chilly, windy Saturday evening in mid-December. My husband and I were sitting (Inside, thankfully!) at a table with 6 others, having just listened to the President and Vice President of the company I work for speak about the past year. The two of them told stories, handed out awards, and thanked everyone for a year of hard work. There were games, laughs, and even a few grumbles from the audience.
After the presentations were done, people began to mingle. The Vice President made his way over to us. As our conversation progressed, he began to tell us stories of people he knows who have lost loved ones suddenly. One couple had never taken a vacation; they were waiting until the husband retired to begin traveling. They planned their first trip, and days before they were to depart, she passed away suddenly. That man to this day hasn’t forgiven himself. There was a story of a motorcycle accident that ended in tragedy. The message in all of it was to live now, not later.
He urged us to make a ‘bucket list’ of places we wanted to go, and to check one thing off of that list each year. No excuses. He reminded us that the places don’t have to be extravagant, but we needed to get away.
Funny thing was that I’d considered a NASCAR Driving Experience for my husband for Christmas, but didn’t end up purchasing it because I was afraid we wouldn’t want to take a weekend to go. We’re always working on the house, running errands, and catching up from the busy work week. But his story touched me. So much so that I went home and started our ‘bucket list’ as the time ticked past midnight (Way later than I’m usually up!). Some places on that list are simple, others further and more elaborate. “We’ll get there,” I thought. I was so satisfied with having started the list. Taking it one step further, however, I booked the trip I had previously decided against. I felt there was something in the timing of it all.
I learned early on Monday morning that the Vice President went to the hospital sometime on Sunday with heart problems. What they thought was a heart attack thankfully turned out to be atrial fibrillation, but there’s no doubt in my mind that was quite a scare for him, his wife, and his entire family.
I prayed a lot over the next few days. I also did a lot of thinking. Just like the stories he told the night prior, that Sunday could have left his family without a husband and father. Thankfully it didn’t.
The timing didn’t just seem like coincidence to me, and I haven’t taken his message lightly.
We’re going to live.
We’re going to get out.
We’re going to get away.
We’re going to explore.
And we’re going to live from one adventure to the next.
And you know what? We’re going to love every second of it. Because life is just too daggone short, no matter how long you’re here.
I sincerely hope you’ll do the same … don’t wait until the timing is right, because it will never be perfect.
Posted in family, life, religion, travel, work
Tagged bucket list, faith, nascar driving experience, travel
A few of my favorite things … work edition.
Funny how life happens.
Looking back on this year, I don’t see months filled with uncertainty. It’s true that there were plenty of them. We learned in July that my job and the jobs of many colleagues would be done in October. When those 3 months were up, I did not have another job to go to like some others did. Talk about a scary time for our family.
Looking back, instead of reliving that fear, however, I feel something amazing. I’m faced with something much more incredible that’s come from that very uncertain time.
I didn’t see it happening at the time, but looking back, I see how much closer our family has become. I see how much more beautiful my relationship with my husband has become. I see just how much I’ve learned about myself. I realize just how blessed we are.
Though I’ve since found what very well may be the job of my dreams, our journey isn’t done. In fact, it’s only just begun.
When my husband and I got married, he started a beautiful tradition that’s continued each year since. The family gift has become what I look forward to most each year, but mostly when I’m on the receiving end. And before you start judging that comment, hear me out.
We take turns each year choosing the family gift. Well, we used to.
You see, this year was my year, and I struggled what what to get. Nothing seemed to quite encompass the type of year we’d had. Frankly, that’s where I went wrong but was so right. It’s true; there was NO ‘thing’ that felt right. I didn’t realize that this year’s family gift didn’t need to be a thing.
What was it?
It was faith.
It was life.
It was blessings.
What did I do about the family gift? I surrendered. I gave the responsibility of this year’s family gift to my husband. I knew I couldn’t do it, but somehow, he always can. And without discussing what I was feeling about the family gift, he made it happen, because he’d felt it, too.
He did end up finding a small “thing,” a little cross, that represented the bigger concept, but that wasn’t the most beautiful part. He, in his most amazing way and as always, articulated in words what got us through this year. Prayer. Blessings. Faith. Life. One particular family member in heaven. And maybe a little bit of sweat and tears, too.
It’ll be a different year for us in 2012. I know we’ll only continue to grow both individually and as a family. We’re committing to make a change that we not only need, but want as well. It’s something I’ve thought about a lot over the past year, and in the past two months in particular. The amazing part is the fact that the very same things that moved me moved him, too. We’re going to do this together.
I.
Can’t.
Wait.
I’m really so very excited. This is so much bigger than the three of us. It’s going to be a beautiful journey; one that will change who we are and how we live.
Forever.
Am I sad that I gave up this year’s family gift? Not for a second. He’s so much better at the family gift than I. And in so many ways, I’m completely okay with that.
I didn’t want to go there. And I’m not sure if I’ll actually publish this. If I decide to, I’m not sure when that will be. At this moment, though, I’m feeling it, so I’ll go with it.
In, well, let’s leave it at before the end of 2011, I’ll be without a job. I’ve been laid off. Frankly, I’m feeling grateful. We were given a ‘warn period,’ which means we got a few months of work before becoming unemployed. As that ‘warn period’ winds down, however, the reality is starting to hit me. In the foreseeable future, I won’t have a job. And believe me, it’s not because I haven’t tried. I’ve looked every day, and applied for every position I think I’d qualify for and then some. I get it now. It’s not that easy. I apologize for all the times I judged before, even if it was just in my mind. As I just said, I get it.
Before we get too far in, let’s take a little trip back in time. You see, I’ve officially been employed since the day of my 16th birthday, and I worked (Shhh.) full-time during summer breaks before that. In high school, I worked nights and weekends, and held two jobs during the summer – one with typical full-time hours (With an awful commute in Philadelphia traffic, to boot.), and a second job on nights and weekends. I worked around 20 hours/week while attending college full-time, and on college breaks, both winter and summer, I again worked a full-time, 40+ hour/week office job. Simply put, I’ve never stopped. (Okay, busted. I did take a 2-week break after graduating from college – frankly, I thought my dad was going to have a heart attack over it, and honestly, so was I. Needless to say, I don’t do free time well.)
So imagine how this concept of unemployment is weighing on me. What the heck will I do during the day??? Of course I know there are things to do, because people do this all the time, but honestly, I’m overwhelmed with the thought of being underwhelmed. I feel like I’m on an island where no one understands. Let me remind you … I simply don’t know how to not work. I don’t know how to let it all go. I don’t know how to take some time off for me. I just don’t know. I’m one of those people who can’t flipping stop.
I get how it feels to be laid off now. I feel the pain. I’m educated, hard-working, and facing a whole new life in the very near future. One I didn’t choose for myself. And I’m scared. I’m sad and feeling very, very alone. And I’m starting to feel the panic.
Without a doubt, I’m a ‘glass half full’ kind of gal. Even when I’m griping, I’m smiling. Well, most of the time. I’ve been told a million times over that I’m too nice. But I’m starting to feel the stress of it all. I’m starting to worry.
My ‘happy go lucky’ side reminds me that it will all be okay. We have our health. We’re an amazing family. I have a daughter that I simply love to pieces. We have our home. And thankfully, we have a plan to move forward through this trying time. But that ‘plan’ won’t last forever. I work for two reasons. (1) Because I want to. It’s who I am, if I haven’t driven that home enough. (2) Because I need to. We have mortage-sized monthly school loan payments between the two of us. It simply is what it is without getting into the gruesome details.
We’ll be okay for a little while. But oddly enough, that doesn’t make this a bit easier. It’s all still there.
The worry.
The burden.
The responsibility.
The panic.
The feeling of isolation.
It’s all still very much there.
So forgive me if I say things that sound uncharacteristic. If I gripe about my dead battery, 5 quarts of leaking oil inside my husband’s truck, dog getting stung in the rear end by a wasp kind of day. You know, in my ordinarily chipper kind of world, it’s totally not that big of a deal. But these days, it is.
Forgive me if I quit focusing on my person, putting my #Mamavation commitment to myself on the back burner for now and instead becoming consumed by this new unwanted distraction. I’ll be back, Sistas. Promise, I will. I gave it my all in the beginning (And lost 10 lbs., thank you very much!), but I’ve got to be honest with you all – I can’t do it anymore.
And forgive me if I’m particularly hateful after reading articles about discriminating against the unemployed. Let me remind you that I didn’t ask for this, and neither did many of my colleagues. Because there were more than a handful of us who were laid off. Many more than a handful. We don’t deserve that.
I know there are many worse things in the world. Believe me, I think about them every single day. But to me, right now, this is a pretty big deal. Things in life are always relative, and I’m remembering that. But that doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly know how to do this. That doesn’t mean this is any easier, or any better.
Are you with me? And will you be here to celebrate when I tell you I have a beautiful, bright and shiny new job? Believe me, I’m going to need you along the way, whether for a celebration or a pick-me-up.
I’ve already needed you, I’ve just been afraid to let you know.
Posted in family, gripes, life, mamavation, rant, work
Tagged life, priorities, unemployed, work, worry
Life is full of ups and downs.
Full of questions with no good answer.
Full of uncertainty.
One thing life is also full of is opinions and advice. While sometimes that advice is just what you need to make a leap of faith, other times it punches you in the gut.
I’m in the midst of a decision with plenty of both types of advice. While I’ve gotten some really good advice and reassurance, at the same time some people close to me have let me down – big time.
Thing is, I know in my heart what the right decision is. But a bit of uncertainty surrounding the future is making me question what I should do.
I said going into this that family is my #1 priority. I said I would not, under any circumstances, compromise that. Yet here I am, listening to people telling me otherwise. I know what I need to do to stay ‘me.’ Making this decision the way I know I shouldn’t would affect that, making me someone I don’t want to be. Yet I let them get to me. I let them get to me because I trust them.
This one decision is making me think about my relationships. And it’s driving me further and further into my cave. If I can’t lean on those I trust for reassurance when I need it most, why bother asking for reassurance in the first place?
I get the risk. I understand the uncertainty. And if I’m willing to deal with it, why aren’t some of my friends & family with me? I understand that they’re concerned, but truthfully, one outcome is just as scary as the other. They both have ugly endings – one long-term, and one that could end up being short-term or long-term. Me? I’m willing to risk it. I know things likely won’t be perfect, but I’m willing to let this ugly choice (and the first, may I add) go for a chance at the possibility of something better. Because there is better. And my family is worth it.
Opinions are just that – opinions. I guess if I can’t take all of what’s given to me without letting it get me down, perhaps I shouldn’t ask in the first place. Just seems that in this time when I feel like I need support the most, that support is causing me more stress than I already place on myself.
I know what I need to do. Now I just need to put on my big girl pants and do it. Without question; without hesitation.
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