Okay, accept my apologizes now. I’m sorry. This really has turned into more of a gripe session then a collection of random observations. I guess the observations I make most are annoyances!
— Have you ever noticed that powdered sugar sometimes tastes like soap? I made royal and color flow icings last night for tonight’s class, and before putting the bowl and mixer into the sink, I decided to give the icing a try. Now I know it’s not meant to frost a cake, but YUCK! It was like eating sweetened soap! —
— If people are pulled over EVERY day in the same spot, don’t you think something’s up? Okay, so I admit it. I got a speeding ticket yesterday for doing 22 over the speed limit. Being the non-law-abiding citizen I am, I was doing 17 over today and being passed like c-r-a-z-y! Of course, the cars passing me were pulled over this morning. Ha! If you ask me, it’s time for a change. 65 mph would be nice. Decision made … I will be going to court for this one. —
— I like this one: “If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?” —
— Why are there nosy people in the world? Do not ask me loaded questions just to find out about my personal life. My favorite is this, “Is everything okay?” I want to say, “If it wasn’t, don’t worry, I wouldn’t be tell you!” If they don’t get the answer they want, they start asking questions about things they know, so they can at least try to get some of it out of you. No, I will answer no more. And no, I am NOT okay! Now p!ss off! —
— Just because I am the listening type does NOT mean I am your therapist. Please, when you tell me, I tell no one. You feel better, but I am stuck with your problems plus my own! And I don’t get paid for this! If I am not your friend, just go away! —
— While we’re on the subject of listening, if I talk to you, can you at least act like you care? There’s nothing more annoying to me than someone who doesn’t pay attention. I give my full attention when you speak; can you please do the same for me? —
— Why do people insist on covering their car with bumper stickers? I think I’m going to keep a list of all the crazy bumper stickers I see. Just last week, I saw an SUV with 17 of those oval beach stickers on its back window and door. Please. And if I see one more “Civility in Howard County” bumper sticker, I’m going to throw up. People, a bumper sticker is not going to make the world a better place to live! It also does not make you a better person! —
— Let’s talk weight loss. With the Biggest Loser competition reaching its final weeks here at work, people are frenzied. A few observations … and gripes. Why do we (myself included) wait until the last minute to do anything about it and think the weight is magically going to melt away? Come on, now. And why do those who have the least to lose do the most crying and whining? This falls under the category of, “The squeaky wheel gets the oil,” which is my least favorite subject of all. If I had just 5 lbs. to lose, I certainly wouldn’t run around barking about it! Why must these skinny b!tches run around, rubbing it in us fat people’s faces? Shut up, shut up, shut up! There, I feel better now. —
